Serendipity’s Top Ten Best Wedding Jokes and Quotes Websites!
There’s nothing better than a really funny joke! At Serendipity we have compiled a list of some of our favourite wedding jokes. If you’re looking for some humour to add to your best-man speech, or if you just want a good old fashioned chuckle before your wedding day, we’re sure you’ll find these jokes as hilarious as we did! One of Serendipity’s best tips for a flawless speech is to add a bit of comic relief. Keep everyone laughing in the aisles with a joke or two.
If you’re struggling with writing the perfect speech it’s probably time to consult the professionals. Try not to bore everyone to snores with a dreary old speech that people will remember for all the wrong reasons. To avoid wedding disasters and add charm and wit to your speech throw in a few jokes for comic effect. At Serendipity we’ve trawled the web to bring you some of the funniest wedding jokes and quotes websites around. Here is a collection of great jokes, and some of our favourite websites that will keep you laughing for hours.
Serendipity’s Top Ten Wedding Jokes and Quotes Websites
Serendipity loves some of the jokes at www.iamstaggered.com. Laugh your socks off at these two!
“Grooms, once you get married remember that when you have a discussion with your future wife, always remember to get the last two words in: “Yes dear”.”
“I haven’t spoken to my Mother-In-Law for eighteen months, I don’t like to interrupt her”
I am Staggered also offers the groom a bucket full of resources and tips to help you through the evening (and the bucks night).
Some of the best wedding jokes around can be found at www.hitched.co.uk. Here are some of our favourites:
“A happy marriage is a matter of give and take; the husband gives and the wife takes.”
“It doesn’t matter how often a married man changes his job, he still ends up with the same boss.”
“A perfect wife is one who helps the husband with the dishes.”
“A man inserted an ‘ad’ in the classifieds: “Wife wanted”. Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: “You can have mine.””
Look at more jokes and links from Hitched here.
“All marriages are happy–it’s the living together afterward that causes all the problems.”
“A husband is living proof that a wife can take a joke.”
“Marriage is the process of finding out what kind of man your wife would have preferred.”
“By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you’ll be happy. If you get a bad one, you’ll become a philosopher. ” — Socrates
Keep everyone entertained with some hilarious jokes from manwalksintoajoke.com. Here are a couple of our favourites:
“A police officer stops a motorist speeding down Main Street. ‘But officer,’ the man says, ‘I can explain—’ ‘Be quiet,’ snaps the officer. ‘I’m going to let you cool your heels in jail until the chief gets back.’ ‘But, officer, I just wanted to say—’ says the driver. ‘And I say keep quiet! You’re going to jail!’ replies the officer. A few hours later the officer looks in on his prisoner and says, ‘Lucky for you the chief is at his daughter’s wedding. He’ll be in a good mood when he gets back.’ ‘Don’t count on it,’ answers the motorist. ‘I’m the groom.’”
“I like to watch my wedding video running backwards so I can watch myself walk out of the church a free man.”
Serendipity adore the jokes and quotes at matrimonialbank. Spice up your speech with these two great jokes.
“Marriage is very much like a violin; after the sweet music is over, the strings are attached.”
“A little boy asked his father, “Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?” And the father replied, “I don’t know, son, I’m still paying for it.””
There’s nothing worse than being bored to snores by a bad wedding speech. Get everyone laughing with these wedding anecdotes from 101funjokes:
“A couple was getting married, and it was only three days before the wedding. The bride calls her mother with some bad news. “Mom,” she says, “I just found out that my fiancé’s mother has bought the exact same dress as you to wear to the wedding.” The bride’s mother thinks for a minute. “Don’t worry,” she tells her daughter. “I’ll just go and buy another dress to wear to the ceremony.” “But mother,” says the bride, “that dress cost a fortune. What will you do with it? It’s such a waste not to use it.” “Who said I won’t use it?” her mother asked. “I’ll just wear it to the rehearsal dinner.””
“A couple had been married for 45 years and had raised a brood of 11 children and was blessed with 22 grandchildren. When asked the secret for staying together all that time, the wife replies, “Many years ago we made a promise to each other: the first one to pack up and leave has to take all the kids.””
Jokes aren’t the only way to get people laughing. funsms has a great collection of wedding quotes as well! Here are a few of the funniest quotes and jokes:
“An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have. The older she gets, the more interested he is in her.” — Agatha Christie
“Q: Why are husbands like lawn mowers? A: They’re hard to get started, emit foul odours, and don’t work half the time!”
“There’s a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It’s called marriage.” — James Holt McGavran
“I never married because I have three pets at home that answer the same purpose as a husband. I have a dog that growls every morning, a parrot that swears all afternoon and a cat that comes home late at night.” — Marie Corelli
At Serendipity we laughed and laughed at the jokes on marriagejokes.org. We hope you enjoy these jokes as much as we did!
“Some people ask the secret of Anthony’s long marriage. They take time to go to a restaurant two times a week: a little candlelight dinner, soft music, and a slow walk home. The Mrs. goes Tuesdays; He goes Fridays.”
“At a local coffee bar, a young woman was expounding on her idea of the perfect mate to some of her friends.
“The man I marry must be a shining light amongst company. He must be musical. Tell jokes. Sing. And stay home at night!”
An old granny overheard and spoke up,
“Honey, if that’s all you want, get a TV!””
There’s nothing better than an amusing wedding toast. Have a look at www.freeweddingtoasts.net for some great ideas for your wedding speech. Here are three of the funniest jokes in their collection:
“Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends. You order what you want, then when you see what the other fellow has, you wish you had ordered that.”
“Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.”
“What is the most effective way to remember your wife’s birthday? Forget it once.”
Wedding Speech Resources
Congratulations, or should I say ‘commiserations’. You’re the groom and guess what? And you may be in the situation where there’s just a couple of weeks left before you have to face the music! So it’s time for you to think about how to keep everyone entertained on the big day. Speech writing can be daunting and disastrous if you don’t know what you’re doing. Luckily for you, there’s no need to go it alone! If you’re struggling with your speech, have a look at some of these resources for some great tips and advice. However, for the ultimate result, consult the professionals to help you say all the things you really mean with warmth, wit and humour.
weddingwriter.com.au offer speeches with ‘charm and class’. With a lot of helpful tips and basic instructions for anyone attempting a write a wedding speech, Wedding Writer are a great site to go to for some free advice.
speechforyou.com are available for quick and easy speech writing. For a small fee you can download pre-prepared speeches that you can tweak to customise, making for a simple alternative that you can easily personalise for a great speech.
Crafted Expression are a great place to start if you’re after some professional help with your speech. Crafted Expression work with you to assist in writing a speech and delivering it with ease.
In a Nutshell…Serendipity’s Best Wedding Speech Tips!
Practice, practice, practice… using speech cards, keep it shorter rather than longer. When it come’s to giving a speech it’s important to know your audience. Don’t rush your wedding speech. Adjust the microphone to the right height and relax, breathe and look towards you audience before you start. Stay calm by standing tall and look at your favourite people for that sense of connection and confidence. Public speaking is the most common fear in today’s society. A survey showed that speaking in public rated higher in people’s fears than financial ruin or even death! But you need not worry! Just follow this advice and look at our links and we’re sure you’ll deliver your speech without a hitch.
More Jokes and Wedding Tips Please!!!
These are some of Serendipity’s all time favourite wedding jokes. If you have some jokes of your own, or if you’ve heard a really funny yarn, we’d love to hear it! Post a comment below and we’ll add your joke to our list.